Another year dies, so turns the wheel....With this new year I will build a better life. My plans will be made into reality, and with a little guidance from the Chart, I will hopefully earn back that which I lost so many years ago..........

Life

So life has been rather...stressful. Gonna be moving back in with , his fiance, and his mother probably in March, but that's only IF I don't take another moving offer I have been handed.

It's....complicated to say the least, as it requires me to "trust" someone I honestly can't stand, but it also brings me to a new area, with someone I was in a relationship with at one point, and who was a spark for a lot of good art pieces in 2010. Who is this person you might ask? Does the name "Shadow" ring any bells? It should for a few of my watchers, as there was a lot of art done with that character and my own. We all know how it ended tho, but what I recently found out was that his feelings had never changed, where I have built a wall of epic proportions to prevent my heart from further damage. My mind is so frazzled with the whole thing, but I can't seem to get over the fact that his crazy ex STILL hits on him and such, and here's some of the red flags that went off in my head from this:

1) similar situation to that of the Argo/Rouka fiasco. I.E. moving to unknown territory, friends are too far away to be of much help, no family, AND above all I am moving out of state. Granted it's not west of here it's south, but still, nothing good ever happens when I try to move out of my home state. If anything things get harder for me.

2) The ex....Oh god is THAT a red flag from hell....Not only would I have to trust her, but she doesn't even KNOW how he feels about me still. God forbid I go through with the idea and him and I hit it off again and she catches us....This is the person that is (supposedly) gonna help me get a place AND a job....do you SEE the danger here? The simple fact that he will not tell her is enough of a red flag in itself....

3) I made promises I need to keep. My grandfather is dying. This is a fact we have known for a while. Instead of the usual promises of things like giving him great grand kids, having him see me get married to a nice guy, succeeding at something, etc. he makes me promise to NOT abandon the family OR leave state until he passes. It's fully understood that I can't stand my family half of the time. Mostly because they have a twisted sense of "helping" and have YET to let me come home to get back on my feet. No, they just "pray" for me and will now and then help with dishes and such that they get at yard sales.

4) and this is the biggie....I would be leaving the pack in jeopardy. I can not just up and take off like I did before. I have responsibilities to uphold, I am in a position of great power and authority, and NONE of my members are ready to take leadership, not even my alpha in training. They are too young and too new to all of this, where I have years of experience with it. He seems to think that "fate" is stepping in, because the pack is bickering right now and one member in particular is pushing limits with rank and practically trying to usurp me. I normally keep order with a sharp tongue and calm demeanor, but so help me I WILL put her on her back and expose her belly. I do NOT tolerate such disobedience for long, and the constant tantrums are getting old. She needs to learn when to shut up and listen.

Aside from all the negative aspects, there ARE some possible upsides to moving down there.

1) New area. Clean slate with jobs and such. No one would know of my past (at first because no matter WHERE I go, it tends to crop back up somehow) so a chance to maybe make new friends and network connections.

2) My own place. I wouldn't have to live with anyone (except Jackson of course) and thus MY home, MY fucking rules! No one I would have to answer to, no one to push me around or control me. But I hate living alone so that could also be a downside....

3) ....actually I can't really think of anything else besides matters of the heart (which I am keeping COMPLETELY OUT of this decision, for obvious reasons). The pro's are not out weighing the con's in this at all......uggggggh

Art

Sooo...on to the topic of art shall we? Lets see....besides being sick for the past few days, I have been getting the Zodiac fairies completed. Having a little difficulty with Pisces, but I should have it hashed out by the end of tonight (I hope). I am also seriously considering uploading some of my better "nude" photos. Relax, they are clean and worth posting up. It's a guilty pleasure of mine, taking nude photos that is. I use them mostly for pose reference, but I do enjoy the idea of being somewhat attractive (I KNOW a few people will argue saying i'm gorgeous and so on, you can shush lol. Let me be modest dammit! XD ). I also do some "themed" outfits and such for fun. The idea of being a model in general has always interested me, but I was never really considered for it (not that I really pursued the idea but you get the point). I wasn't liked in school, and many people said I wasn't attractive at all, so I dismissed the idea for a long time. Now however? Being stared at when walking around, love interests STILL hot on my tail simply because of my looks? You think it WOULDN'T go through my head again? I may be modest, but i'm no fool lol. If my watchers think it's a neat idea, I will likely post a few in a separate folder, but ONLY if you guys are interested lol.

Entertainment/Pets

Entertainment....well, been playing those facebook games still (dear god am I hooked >.< ) I have also come across a few interesting programs thanks to . One is called 3DCG (3D Custom Girl) and the other I found today when trying to find something similar but better (not a henti game thing >.< ). What I found I don't even know if it's "clean" but it is called AG3 (Artificial Girl 3) and it's in English (3DCG is all in Japanese). Both programs promise to have advanced customization and extreme pose creation, making it perfect for in-depth anatomy study for photos. I'm not good at drawing people (it's a well known fact) so this type of thing could help to strengthen the foundation of human drawing that I have (I know the basics, but making a character really come to life is still difficult, i.e. expressions and such).

Pets....oh dear god Jack can be the sweetest thing and then be a terror the next. I love the little furball to death, but it is not fun to be headbutted at 8am! He has this obsession with waking me up, then snuggling, then demanding food. Oh and when he DOES snuggle, it is ALWAYS across my chest. He's like a living censor bar XD. He's a sweetie to me, but there are just some people he can not stand. He has his moments where he likes , and then there are times where I swear he is trying to get himself kicked out. He knows juuust how to piss him off lol. It can be fun to watch sometimes too XD.

Love

Do I dare? Do I REALLY want to go into this? Erm......no. I don't think it's necessary that I delve into this. Plus, it's a LOT to write and certain parties could read and misinterpret shit and I just REALLY don't want to deal with that mess. I already have enough to deal with in this department, I DON'T need more to contend with.

Hope this was enough of an update for you all. Again, let me know about the nude photography idea. I am really curious as to what you guys have to say (and yes I have permission to post lol).
~Sapphira

************ART TRADE/REQUEST STATUS: CLOSED**********
~At this time I'm open to all art trades and requests unless stated otherwise in the title, but know that they will be on a first come, first serve basis as I'm not getting paid for them. They might take a little bit to get completed, just know that they WILL get completed in time. I NEVER leave a piece unfinished. They ALL get completed in time. I will go over the rules with each person for each trade/request that I receive. I prefer having one on one communication with other artists, so feel free to reach me on AIM or by email.

AIM: SapphireIceWolf

Email: laurak2336@yahoo.com


***********COMMISSION STATUS: OPEN************
ALL commissions are now going to be taxed according to my governments current tax amount (6.35%), due to the fact that this is STILL my only job (I AM trying to make this a secondary job still tho...) and I have been informed that I am behind with my taxes. So, to rectify this issue the only way I can, you are sadly going to be taxed. Luckily, I keep my prices low so it shouldn't hurt too bad. ALL prices shown include tax, shipping, AND those in brackets are the prices if paid through Paypal (because Paypal takes 2.9%+.30 USD from all payments I receive automatically). I am sorry for any inconveniences this might cause, but this is currently my only form of income, so I am left with no alternatives until I manage to get a local job.

** Also, due to current situations, any commission that is over $20 will have a 20% no refund deposit requirement. I have posted what 20% of each price would be in brackets next to the total price.

Sketches: $1.06 USD {$1.39 USD for Paypal payments} (my sketches are done in mechanical pencil and can be a tad messy at times. I will try to keep them as clean as I can however)

Line art in black ink: $2.12 USD {$2.49 USD for Paypal payments} ( Line art is cleaned up once scanned so that there are no smudge marks on the piece.)

Line Art with Color (Prismacolor Pencils): $3.19 USD {$3.59 USD for Paypal payments}(inked and then traditionally colored slightly along the lines meaning the color fades to white towards the middle. example soon )

Background for computer desktops: $4.25 USD {$4.68 USD for Paypal payments}

Digitally (including minimal shading and background) enhanced art: $10.63 USD {$11.24 USD for Paypal payments}

Creation of your dream Character: this is a ref sheet like my personal detailed ref except on rare occasions: $15.95 USD {$16.72 USD for Paypal payments}

Custom Car Decal designs (multiple colors or one straight color): $21.27 USD {$22.19 USD for Paypal payments} [$4.44 USD deposit]

Tattoo Designs (no color just black ink): $26.59 USD {$27.66 USD for Paypal payments} [$5.53 USD deposit]

Personal Character drawings/interpretations/designs (includes full color either digital or traditional. No BG unless specified): $31.91 USD {$33.13 USD for Paypal payments} [$6.63 USD deposit] (Extra characters, intense detail, BG, or any other add-on will increase the price by 15%)

Tattoo Designs (with color digital or prismacolor pencils): $53.18 USD {$55.02 USD for Paypal payments} [$11.00 USD deposit]


***Side Note: Any other type of commission not mentioned is welcomed but may be declined if I feel I can't complete it to my standards. Note me in this case with your idea and I will get back to you.***

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Artists I admire/that inspire me (no particular order):

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Friends/watchers that I'm close to (no particular order):
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****Let me know if I haven't added you and I'll update this asap. You all mean that much to me